In Observance of Singles Awareness Day, aka SAD
Red vase with red and yellow roses
If you’re like me, and Valentine’s Day is the Worst Holiday EVER (exclamation point), because you are ALWAYS single on Valentine’s Day, then ALL single people should band together and CANCEL whoever is responsible for this NONSENSE.
Side note: After a brief internet search into the history of Valentine’s Day, it turns out V-Day had a really dark beginning, including (but not limited to) defying oppressors, imprisonment, and executions…
I’ll amend the above statement to say all single people should band together to CANCEL whoever is responsible for the evolution of Valentine’s Day into a celebration exclusively for committed relationships.
How do you, fellow single person (because I am NOT talking to you happily-together people—our conversation resumes tomorrow), spend your Singles Awareness Day, aka SAD?
Do you:
A) Throw yourself into work/hobbies/necessary chores like doing taxes
B) Binge-watch your favorite TV series
C) Try to hook up with an old flame
D) Go to a bar with the other SAD observers
E) Sign up for ALL the dating apps
F) C — that didn’t work → then D — and after imbibing more than absolutely necessary, regretfully E
What do I do? Hhm. I’ve never been a fan of option D—too socially awkward. Also, per my psychiatrist, it is not recommended that I drink alcohol. Yeah, he’s a real buzzkill, that one. Thanks a lot, Dr. H.
Option A has always been out because I’m too depressed about being single to be ultra-productive.
Option C? Nah, because I never go back; I adhere religiously to the “I’ve Moved On” Policy.
I’d have to go with option B and/or unfortunately E.
One thing folks in committed relationships say to their single friends is, “Just because they’re in a relationship doesn’t mean they’re happy.”
To that I respond: That might be true, BUT there are still enough happily-committed couples around to rub it in my face, dammit.
Another unhelpful thing: “Being alone is better than being in a toxic relationship.”
Sure, if you just got out of one, that freedom high is powerful. Freedom is like a drug.
(A drug that works—unlike the ones I’ve tried for treatment-resistant depression, NONE of which have worked. But I digress.)
If you’re not on that freedom high, it still feels crappy.
But there is one thing that works for me. Caveat: it doesn’t work every time. But it works better than the drugs that are SUPPOSED to work for my depression. Sorry, can’t stop with the ineffective-medication obsession.
I think to myself: If I were in a committed relationship and had a single friend, what would I be jealous of about her life?
Magically, I think of all the things I can do as a single person that a committed person can’t.
For example:
I can flirt with whomever I please.
I can go wherever I want, do whatever I want, and spend whatever the heck I want without checking in, asking permission, or calling a committee meeting first.
I don’t have to clean up after someone else’s mess—I can clean up my own mess, dammit. Or not clean it up at all.
I can pack my bags and travel whenever and wherever I want.
Two experiences taught me this.
First: I was hanging out with a recently married friend I was super jelly of because she found not only The One, but a literal keeper. Six months after the wedding and their AMAZING honeymoon to IRELAND, she said:
“I feel like a maid.”
And there it was. Happily wedded bliss—pouf—gone.
She married a mama’s boy who, though still a keeper, is not stellar in the housekeeping bidness.
Second: I attended a ladies’ social function where I was the ONLY single person. One mom said, about co-parenting with her husband:
“Whenever he watches the kids, I still have to do everything.”
I asked myself, “Still jelly, B?”
Nah, man. I’m good with my single life. And I toasted myself.
So, to all my fellow singles out there struggling to get through Singles Awareness Day: hang in there, kids.
Get you some chocolate, cozy clothes, and an alcoholic beverage (if your psychiatrist isn’t a buzzkill like mine). Toast yourself, because you are awesome, and you deserve every happiness that comes your way today.
Cheers.
Yours Truly,
B
Someone should really research how Valentine’s Day evolved into a celebration of committed relationships. Curious minds want to know so we can pin the blame on the specific person or group responsible. Thanks in advance.
