Fork Buddies

When you’ve forgotten your fork—and your workplace does not provide plasticware because they don’t even provide a breakroom—you eat your salad with a spoon instead.

You know how some people have a “work wife” or a “work husband”? Well, I’ve got a coworker who’s my Fork Buddy. No, it’s not what you think. Here’s how it happened.

I always bring lunch from home because I try to be frugal. Yay for being the spawn of two engineers. I typically eat a salad and bring a fork. One day, my coworker D forgot his fork and asked if he could borrow mine. I wasn’t using it, having brought a sandwich instead.

“Sure,” I said, reaching into my lunchbox.
I handed him the fork—only to realize it was the broken plastic one I hadn’t thrown away yet. I have hoarder tendencies.

“Aaaaand it’s broken… wait, wait,” I said before he walked off. “I think I’ve got another one.”

The next one I pulled out was dirty.

“You’ll just need to wash it first,” I said.
“No problem, thanks,” D replied.

Later that week, it was my turn. Walking into work, I had that nagging feeling that I hadn’t packed a fork. Sure enough, I’d taken it out to wash and never replaced it.

I asked D, “Did you bring a fork today? I forgot mine.”

He graciously shared his.

You may be asking yourself, Doesn’t your workplace have a breakroom with plasticware?
Excellent question. I’m glad you asked.

The answer is no.

My department is maintenance—we work outdoors and in trucks. We don’t have a breakroom because upper management assumes we wouldn’t be responsible with one and would just sit around inside all day not getting work done.
Or… the entity I work for is too cheap to give its maintenance employees a breakroom.

Either way, we don’t have one.

What we do have is a refrigerator and a microwave. In a shed.

I remembered I had a big tub of plasticware left over from when I once had people over for a party. (I’m deeply introverted; this is a rare event.) I found the tub under my kitchen sink. It was mostly knives and spoons, but there were a few forks as well.

“Aha!” I thought. “My hoarder tendencies have served me well.”

I brought the plasticware to work the next day. Forks for everyone!
Then I paused. Where to put them? We had no drawers or cabinets.

My eyes landed on the freezer. Perfect. They’d stay clean and wouldn’t take up valuable refrigerator real estate.

Frozen forks have been a boon—especially now that my Fork Buddy has been moved to a different location.

Sad day.